THE STINKY CHEESE MAN
Once upon a time there was a little old woman and a little old man who lived together in a little old house. They were lonely. So the little old lady decided to make a man out of stinky cheese. She gave him a piece of bacon for a mouth and two olives for eyes and put him in the oven to cook.
When she opened the oven to see if the was done, the smell knoced her back, “Phew! What is that terrible smell?” she cried. The Stinky Cheese Man hopped out of the oven and ran out the door calling, “Run run run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me. I’m the Stinky Cheese Man!”
The little old lady and little old man sniffed the air. “I’m not really very hungry,” said the little old man. “I’m not really all that lonely,” said the little old lady. So they didn’t chase the Stinky Cheese Man. The Stinky Cheese Man ran and ran until he met a cow eating grass in a field. “Wow! What’s that awful smell?” said the cow.
The Stinky Cheese Man said, “I’ve run away from a little old lady and little old man and I can run away from you too I can. Run run run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me. I’m The Stinky Cheese Man!” The cow gave another sniff and said, “I’ll bet you could give someone two or three stomachaches. I think I’ll just eat weeds.” So the cow didn’t chase The Stinky Cheese Man either.
The Stinky Cheese Man ran and ran until he met some kids playing outside school. “Gross,” said a little girl. “What’s that nasty smell?” “I’ve run away from a little old lady, and a little old man, and a cow, and I can run away from you too I can. Run run run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me. I’m The Stinky Cheese Man!” A little boy looked up, sniffed the air and said, “If we catch him, our teacher will probably make us eat him. Let’s get out of here.” So the kids didn’t chase The Stinky Cheese Man either.
By and by The Stinky Cheese Man came to a river with no bridge. “How will I ever cross this river? It’s too big to jump, and if I try to swim across I’ll probably fall apart,” said You-Know-Who. Just then the sly fox (who shows up in a lot of stories like these) poked his head out of the bushes. “Why, just hop on my back and I’ll carry you across, Stinky Cheese Man.” “How do I know you won’t eat me?” “Trust me,” said the fox. So The Stinky Cheese Man hopped on the fox’s back. The fox swam to the middle of the river and said, “Oh man! What is that funky smell?”
The fox coughed, gagged, and sneezed, and The Stinky Cheese Man flew off his back and into the river where he fell apart.
The end. |